“In the last days of their life a lot of people can’t speak, walk or communicate with as much ease as they could, earlier. So they turn inwards. And start to remember the things that made their heart sing once. Things that they cared to learn more about over the course of their life, which enriches their days now.”Read More
We love it when someone says ‘I get you’. It’s like a shot of approval dopamine runs through the body to signal acceptance, trust, safety and love. Most of the time you hear ‘I get you’ in the rare heat of a moment you’re describing a weaker side of yourself. A side you thought was pretty eff’d up. Then suddenly you share these same fears and vulnerabilities with another person? And you’re sitting there thinking ‘no way… she is a straight 10 and always happy! Why would she EVER have any problems as fucked up as mine?’.
Welcome to the blinding illusion of perfection. Paralyzing our ability to be honest, pursue a more authentic life and connect deeper since way back.
Brought to us by romance novels; where no one has jobs, lovers can read minds and aren’t irritated by any odd habits. Pornography; where the women never express the most common complaints in the bedroom. They’re never too tired to get it on for a solid 10-20 minutes. The men have absolutely no trouble sustaining performance in that time either. And women have what seems to be the most mind blowing orgasms expressed through their dulcet tones - every.time. Amazing, considering global statistics show 1 out of 3 women struggle to reach orgasm in sex. And pornography is most men’s first introduction to sex. What a massive disaster that is. Magazines, online content, media, and tv-series have relatable topics that give that hit of dopamine. And are laced with shock value, drama, and excitement. Things we only realistically experience every now and again in daily life.
This delicious hit of primal dopamine then forms what we justify a ‘healthy addiction’ to what is ultimately a scripted life. Exposed to our eyeballs, same time, every day or every week. Or we will gorge online because; we ‘just-can’t-wait’. It’s said we form habits in 28 days. Bootcamps, workout programmes and the like will promise this particular method. Especially for sustained results. After the commitment is set and the support is in place we work hard physically to meet those targets. Yet we let ourselves subconsciously work hard consuming content outside of our direct experience. And have created the most unhealthy habit of all. The paradoxical habit of inadequacy and forced perfection. There are many sophisticated ways this habit formed without us being aware of it. And there are many discussions that could attempt the explanation of its' origins. I won’t attempt the history here. I do just have two words for us to ponder… fear and filter.
Keep in mind most people have a day job. Most people sleep for 7ish hours - a lot are restless nights. Most people eat breakfast, have a shower and get dressed in the morning. Most people expect a lot. Most people are pretty disappointed with a lot of things. Most people get exhausted and irritable. Most people get distracted into the silent minutes of oblivion. Most people have random bursts of excitement. Maybe fantasize about being single again when reminiscing on that trip in summer, then go back to what we were doing. And maybe feel a bit guilty for thinking those thoughts later on in the day. Imagine filming or visually documenting that series of events. Unless you have some indie background music or hipster description, most would describe these scenes as ‘pretty bloody boring’. But that is most of life. Why are we so scared of that?
Why are we so scared of these precious moments where we get to explore this weird organism we are. Or try to solve the mundane puzzles of daily life. Like how our partner chooses to look at a whole lot of shit on facebook that they’ll probably forget in an hour. When we want so much for them to be making real moments with us instead? Or why our colleague doesn’t just close the door behind them every single time they come into the office. Even though you’ve told them 20 billion (yes actually 20 billion) times? Or why our flatmates will leave fish crusted plates in the kitchen for a whole month and keep cooking around them? Or why we feel hurt by other people’s actions in general? Then anxious about our own actions?
All these questions may seem dull on the surface. But each one itches an interesting discovery into our own psychology. How we connect. How we can tolerate others behaviours to a monumental extent. How our childhood affects us in adulthood. And how we can actually be ok with the word ‘ordinary’ whilst still pursuing our most ambitious dreams. All which can make us so much greater than we are. Some may think ‘yeah who cares I loving striving for perfection and doing all the racey shit that gets my blood pumping! I want to live hard then die. YEEEAHHHH!’ *rock on hands, closing eyes, teeth over biting the bottom lip, nodding head*.
Firstly, I totally get that. I’ve got thrill seeking and exploring in my blood and I am hungry to achieve all my heart desires. The concept of praising the ordinary and not so glamorous parts of our life isn’t about avoiding drive and discipline to achieve dreams. It means getting real about what life is and what we actually want. Sans the social expectation of perfection.
When we realise that life is a challenge, that people are strange, that annoying, ridiculous, painful or sad things do happen. We won’t waste time being as disappointed when they happen - we understand life isn’t perfect.
And no, we won’t be more negative about life - looking out for everything wrong in the world. It would be helpful to adopt this idea as a positive tool to enlightenment - not an opportunity to complain. If we use this concept in a productive way it would go a little something like this. E.g Go to leave the house, can’t find my keys. A small wave of panic internally thinking about already being late for work. Quickly realise it’s totally possible for this to happen. Take a deep breath. Retrace my steps. Look at the clock ticking. Have a big laugh. Keep looking. Find them. Go to work with the only time that’s left on the clock and the only energy available. Get to work. Get yelled at. Have a big laugh. Start work. This example displays the initial fight or flight instincts of the body perceiving this circumstance as a danger. Awareness kicks in and reframes the situation mentally. We physically calm the body down to dissolve the fight or flight response. We get to work practically. We realise how ridiculous it is and have a good old laugh at how shit life can be. No time wasted yelling, crying or throwing our toys out of the cot. It’s not about being a negative Ned, not striving to be the best they can. It’s actually about saving our energy to focus on things worth getting passionate about.
It’s about living with the quiet awareness of life’s flaws and laughing in the face of them.
Secondly, no one escapes the mediocre aspects of life described earlier - so we can never be “100% hardcore dude”. Thirdly, let me suggest a deeper look into that statement; Live-Hard-Then-Die. To what extent are we living our own life or attempting to recycle the lives and thoughts of others? Especially due to this exposure to sugary contrived content. The classic pangs of jealousy after watching a travel video, then spontaneously buying a ticket to Brazil in the same week. To what extent has the habit of inadequacy and forced perfection infiltrated or muddied our native desires for life? To what extent is this article my ideas or another person’s? We don’t like to ask these questions because the answers may not be ones we like to accept. It’s a struggle to be purely honest with ourselves because even we can’t bare to look at an imperfect reflection. Or maybe your answers affirm that you are in fact following your heart. In which case - you.are.living my friend.
And then we die. Humans are the only creatures aware of their mortality way before it happens. Thinking about death is maybe the most productive thing we can do for living a more authentic life. Instead of reflecting on it in a morbid sense.
Look at it as strategic planning. If we more or less know the result (death) we can backward engineer our lives.
A life based on the pulls of our authentic drives and desires as opposed to the push of others. It’s terrifying thinking about stepping outside any system to attempt an authentic life. Especially packed with imperfections. But wouldn’t it be more terrifying to know we will die doing what everyone told us to do - even though they are quite obviously not us. That’s eff’d up! I understand that we can’t escape other people’s opinions just like you’re reading my content. All these external things shape us for sure. And other people can be amazingly truthful mirrors for us. But I want to offer a transcendence of seductive content and externalities alone to guide our worth in life.
What I’m offering here is a hug for our broken selves. To say it’s ok to think we are weird. We probably are. It’s ok to think we are a bit over excitable or quiet or angry. Maybe we are just those things. I believe what matters is being honest about who we are and how we feel. And not in the romantic sense that we can share all our weaknesses, be heard and forgiven and happy days! We need an education on how to look at ourselves and communicate what may seem mediocre yet crippling parts of our lives. Parts that need airing out and dissecting for improvement. It’s hard to do that alone. We need to learn how to listen properly to all the sensitive, amazing humans that confide in us. With our phones out of sight, being present and ready to offer another perspective for potential healing and growth. Not just “there, there you’ll be fine *cuddles*”.
We need to be brave enough to love people so much that we hold a mirror to their flaws and encourage an analysis of them. Whilst at the same time holding their hand.
And not just to attack their weaker parts but to understand them and make peace with them. And love them just as much as our stronger parts. We need to be receptive to the caring reflections of others who genuinely love us, instead of feeling instantly defensive and hurt. We need to ask the right questions. Something as simple as “what do you really mean when you say ...? I want to understand” or “Have you considered ... as another way of looking at it?” or “When have you felt like this before in your life?”.
Imperfections are the allure of our beings. We are most drawn to humans we would call ‘natural’ - another term for people who generally don’t give a fuck. They know they aren’t perfect and they make us feel safe in their presence because finally, we can be imperfect together. I may not have the answers on creating better romance novels, better pornography, media or online content. I’d maybe suggest a healthy awareness of their intentions before indulging. But let us relax on this pressure to be perfect because the paradox is that people aren’t drawn to perfection as much as one’s true nature. And nature always knows best ;).
Off the back of my last piece on consciousness - I dove even further into this perpetual world of self mastery. Here are my latest lessons.
1. I'M NOT MORE SPECIAL THAN ANYONE ELSE
2. I DON'T NEED UNDERSTANDING TO FEEL CONNECTED TO LIFE.
3. JUDGING PEOPLE IS A REFLECTION OF MY OWN INSECURITIES. AND LACK OF KNOWLEDGE ABOUT AND COMPASSION FOR A HUMAN LIFE.
4. I CREATE ALL MY OWN SUFFERING
5. THE BEST RELATIONSHIP REQUIRES MAXIMUM INVOLVEMENT AND MINIMUM ADDICTION
I have noticed something lately in this consciousness enquiry. It's my necessary reduction in mental masturbation. (hehe rude word - but used professionally ha!). As much as I delight in the rumination of thoughts on existence, the paradox is that what I seek requires less thinking and more being. Instead it's about the art of dissolving the ego or self to a smaller size, in favour of infinite happiness. Free from social contract, free from self and external moralisation and open to unconditional love. Like actual I-don't-need-anything-from-you-to-love-you unconditional love. And hardly anyone can say they have achieved such a life state. 'Unconditional Love' gets thrown around without the knowledge of it's intent. It's intent happens to need a massive shift in your indoctrinated beliefs, your identity and expectations. And that's fucking scary stuff to actually look at changing in your own life. All in a bid to love with no conditions. No conditions in the form of not just loving your own child, but loving all the other children you meet...
Unconditional love in the form of loving a person who once crossed you in the worst way...
But you think how can you do that when you want them to pay for how THEY affected YOU. Sounds hard right. Yet we all still want love from everyone else and oneness in the world. That's just hypocrisy. And it's where point number 4. comes in. "I create all my own suffering." I'll get to that in a bit.
There was a man wearing 15 hats, whistles and other toys, hoping to sell them in the streets of Lisbon, Portugal. I was outside a bar one evening, enjoy a drink with friends and he approached me with his sales pitch. I stopped him before he could start and asked "What are your dreams?". He dropped his outstretched hands full of toys, a childish light shimmered in his eyes and he replied "Peace and Love". With a smile he repeated himself louder this time "PEACE AND LOVE!". He continued off on his way with a new look on his face. But it made me think. Here he is in what most would call an undesirable job. You would think his dreams would involve money to buy his "freedom". But he just wants what the richest man who just finished his 12 hour shift in the office longs for also. Peace and love. Even the people blowing up nations are aiming for peace and love in their own right. Because their belief requires everyone to be under their rules or else -"then we can all be happy".
The battle with beliefs is that everyone thinks their's are 'right'. But that would suggest a 'wrong' set of beliefs... right? So who is right?
When we see life as boundless and we are in tune with our own authentic desires and native self we can start to get a taste of true, unconditional love. Thus, peace. But it's a long and uncomfortable road that will turn you inside out.
It's nice to see people starting to acknowledge that awareness and oneness isn't some "hippie" notion. Meditation, Quantum Physics and other scientific ventures are opening the minds of people around the world. We are wanting to push our immediate awareness and brain capacity to evolutionary lengths in the name of existentialism. Not just for money and success, but for historical growth in the human brain and a true understanding of what connects us as life on earth. These states of awareness are euphoric. The information is so fulfilling that the deathbed of one who seeks this knowledge doesn't seem so scary. And no amount of money can buy this type of education.
So lets start with these OUTRAGEOUS lesson i've learnt recently!
1. I'M NOT MORE SPECIAL THAN ANYONE ELSE.
This is a pretty heavy one to start with and it took me a bit to wrap my head around. But after learning more about the ego it's been a lot easier to digest. More on ego another time. Lama Marut inspires most of this lesson in his talk on "The Bliss of Being Nobody". He speaks of how we were born "special" with our own unique personalities and DNA of course, and being comfortable in yourself is healthy. Yet we live in cultural validation of self centeredness. A consumer economy that encourages you to be more of a "somebody" because we aren't enough. And so we indulge ourselves in the hope of being more of a somebody.
We thrive on social affirmations to confirm our status. We rest better one night knowing more people liked that I walked around Italy this summer for example. Yay! I feel so whole, because I'm just a bit better than everyone else who didn't do that. : | No.
A moment measured on someone else's approval of it - is not pure joy.
I'l probably keep posting bits and pieces on my social platforms until I grow out of it (It takes times). Marut explains "It's when your self shuts up that we become most integrated and absorbed in what we are doing. This is when we experience pure joy." I know when i'm making music or painting and I lose mySELF, I experience bliss. So i'm having the best time when I'm not there, without expectation of some sort of return on my investment. It's fun for it's own sake. Plus, if you're planning on not dying alone - being an arrogant prick isn't sustainable.
2. I DON'T NEED UNDERSTANDING TO FEEL CONNECTED TO LIFE
For a long time I always thought I needed people to understand me to feel connected to life. There have been friendships I moved away from because we didn't share the same views and ways of living. There have been relationships I struggled with because there was hardly any debate or participation. And when there was I shut it down. Because "I knew best". There have been arguments with loved ones because they didn't like my other friends. The main theme here is that people didn't meet MY expectations of connection. And for me connection meant understanding and similarities. Over the past 4 years I have realised it's so much more than than that. Marina Abramović is an incredible performance artist. Known for her piece "The Artist Is Present", where she sat in a chair facing her audience for 8 hours a day. She is a big inspiration for this point. Her Ted talk on "An Art Made of Trust, Connection and Vulnerability" clarifies why understanding only does not translate to connection. In the silence of her performance, people were moved to tears due to an intangible, voiceless bond of energy in that moment - with nothing but a gaze. It also ties into the first point of needing my SELF to be understood to affirm a connection. Instead I have experienced more reward in growth through differences in people and involvement. No agenda or tick boxes. Just presence.
And as Abramović explains "We are always doing things we like in life. And this is why we aren't changing".
I've never felt more alive and in tune with living, than in moments of vulnerability or fear. Being felt in another light is scary but so beautiful and rewarding to the soul. And it's not just about people. We don't need to be physically connected to each other to feel part of this earth. It's in the act of being present and aware of your own perceptions. Then you begin to be one with all that surrounds you. (Maybe a bit of research on consciousness and Quantum Physics wouldn't hurt. Good short vid - kind of robotic guy talking - explaining belief systems here).
The above isn't to say that I don't value a mutual understanding on certain things and of myself. Life does allow a beautiful energy when two people sync up. And I would need to grow some pretty thick skin to tolerate every person disagreeing with me every day. I'm just happy to be more open minded about different ways of connection. And not just submitting to the easy and comfortable "samesys" association.
3. JUDGING PEOPLE IS A REFLECTION OF MY OWN INSECURITIES. AND LACK OF KNOWLEDGE ABOUT AND COMPASSION FOR A HUMAN LIFE.
This one is pretty straight forward. Judging people doesn't define who they are - it defines who you are. Or rather what you lack. And most of the time it's a lack of knowledge of this person's background/situation or your own insecurities. Staying at a Hostel we paid for the evening meal. There were about 8 of us and it was lasagne (one of my top 6 meals!). There was one big dish to share. We all had one piece, there was one serving left. One of the girls helped herself to this remaining piece without asking anyone if they wanted to share. It lit a fire in me, because I would never take the last piece without asking everyone first. I caught myself about to judge the shit out of her for doing so. Then I thought 'I have no idea why she did that and I won't find out why if I just make remarks about how it affected me'. I let it go with a laugh because it wasn't reeeally a pressing issue - I had enough to eat. But it was in that moment that I chose the option to learn instead of complain.
Judging also displays a lack of compassion towards another human story. I understand everyone has the right to their own opinion. But I'd love to know some benefits of voicing a judgement of a human being when you yourself are not perfect. It has become part of our DNA to judge. But if I'm making an effort in conscious living i'm too aware to take part now. I just get embarrassed when I go to say something about someone when I have no idea who they actually are. In some cases I haven't even spoken to this person. Instead it's usually a construction from the media or hearsay. I find this presumptuous and ignorant. The lesson here is to have an informed opinion about a person based on direct contact with them. Or information from them. Otherwise you're just consuming someone else's interpretation and claiming it as your own.
4. I CREATE ALL MY OWN SUFFERING
If you watched the video on Quantum Physics and Consciousness in point 2 this will make more sense. You can choose what you believe is real for you. You can see Cancer as something that happened to you and create a victim mentality. Or you can see Cancer as just another part of you that has a weird name, you are aware of it and will move through it with presence. This is a wild notion that would definitely get a lot of flack. Especially since I've never been in such an extreme position myself. But the simple principle that you are what you think is the main point here. There are many ways to see things. Being a victim is just one of them. You are responsible for everything that happens in your world.
Yet majority of people don't like that responsibility. So they will continue to complain, blame and shame others to feel better about their own fear. I was reading a love poem in Amsterdam. A bit hungover to be fair, which added to my challenge - but it was so beautiful. I started to relate the words to my own lovers and emotional connections with these people. Then I could feel my eyes prickle and I thought 'hold on you're leaving the present moment with your emotional bullshit from the past. And what is the point of this? It's making you sad'. I powered through to the end without the tear dropping and got stuck into my eggs benny. They were delicious! It was a great little exercise watching the process of past emotions creeping in to feed my ego in a way. And then to squash it before getting any more air time was empowering. Because now I will not forget how delicious that meal was because I was present instead of balling my eyes out about old love.
5. THE BEST RELATIONSHIP REQUIRES MAXIMUM INVOLVEMENT AND MINIMUM ADDICTION
This article blew relationships out of the water for me! It's an excerpt from A Conscious Person's Guide to Relationships by Ken Keyes, Junior. I wondered if all this conscious work was disabling me from having normal relationships. Would they be fulfilling enough? Do they need to be doing all this conscious work for us to click? Am I now way too weird to co-exist with another human? Then I came across this formula, and it makes so much sense. I've practiced it with beautiful results. Do yourself a favour and read it. I'll explain a bit of it but it won't do it justice. It's about the action of not putting your emotional expectations on your partner or friend. This causes needy, possessive and addictive behaviour. A conscious relationship is one where you are sharing the moment, enjoying each other and blissing out. In turn opening yourself to - my favourite - unconditional love.
So there you have it. My lessons to date. I would love any thoughts or ideas in the comments below.
Until next time. Peace and Love!
I was watching a video on how our hypothalamus is the link between the endocrine and nervous systems. All in a bid to understand how I could use my mind to control the administration of hormonal messages around my body. Ultimately dictating my own existence. I got bored half way through because there were no pictures. But I gathered enough information to confirm my undying loyalty to meditation.
I haven't written on here in a while. It's all in poems, lyrics, weird statements and thoughts in my journal or phone memos. Looking over most of the material - I kind of say the same shit over and over again, with a slightly different trigger or intention each time. I like to question consciousness in a moment and either side of it. Why? I'm not sure.
It may be that I find it fascinating how humans forget they are humans...
...And they can actually human more than they are humaning right now (maybe they don't want to and that's fine too). But why would you want to be in this body and not get to know its essence? It may be that I forget to live in the moment myself. I either resist a reality or not realise it at all, which frustrates me later on. It may be that i've experienced a some what nirvana floating in the Adriatic sea with the sun on my face. I wonder why that only happens every now and again? And are other people experiencing it without a vice? Because it feels effing great! External beliefs have managed to crawl into our minds and dilute our self beliefs. Right down to a manageable, sellable consciousness weak enough to doubt that we have everything we need.
So, who cares? I do for some reason. And if you're still reading this - you may also be just as curious. I've learnt through self experimentation that a harmonious mindbody creates the best space for pure consciousness. Free of self restrictions and achieved through practiced meditation. It is a state in which you can connect to something deeper than just your physical form. That intangible electricity you sometimes feel in moments of excitement, doubt or vulnerability. Harnessed after moving through your thoughts, then your feelings and reaching a state of 'knowing'. And I feel like this is a pretty decent goal to achieve success in life.
Nature is my favourite environment in which to reach this state. Although I'm living in a city with copious amounts of rad opportunities – it's blanketed in concrete and escapism. So natural things in any form; food, clothes, lifestyle, brings me closer to the earth and my authentic self. It's also just a lot better for my health - when it's already compromised by pollution and adapting to new things all the time. There is a certain frequency my energy enjoys vibrating on when I'm in contact with things in their natural state - humans included. Nature is honest and can re anchor you when you're thoughts have gone too far or have become too toxic for your health. And wow have my thoughts travelled in the past.
I was lucky enough to grow up in the beautifully raw paradise of New Zealand. From a kid I was thrown into the splendour of the sea. I was lead under natural canopies of the rustling forrest. I would breathe in fresh untainted air of an icey mountain top. I was enveloped in the uncontrollable force of nature like it was my birthright. It was a privilege and I practice gratitude for this gift each day - even more so in opposing environments. I thought this debilitated the ability for my body to adapt with the same positivity to a completely different space. Accepting this challenge taught me otherwise.
So what has happened after saying yes to the challenge? I got excited. My soul exploded many times. My body freaked out and got fat to keep me "safe" from the "scarcity" of elements I now didn't have; money, shelter and people who understood me. I have sung really loud listening to music walking down the street. I have sat next to an old man on a park bench one night, discovered he was a leading mathematician and scientist and he blew my mind forever. I have snapchat a lot of weird stuff to my loved ones as a form of connection. I have drawn people and they have no idea (ha!). My drawings have made me some cash money (yeeeeeeah). I fell in love with an Italian guy and learnt that relationships don't need an agenda and interactions are incredible when you let go of your ego...
...I found my dream job. Two months later got made redundant and experienced the biggest disappointment of my life.
I have cried a lot. I have laughed till I cried a lot. I have reduced my care for people's opinions down to about 0.01%. I have reduced my tolerance for people that steal my energy down to about 0.5% (still working on this one). I have been scared of being blown up in the tube. I have felt completely alone and loved it more than anything and hated it more than I could explain. I pretend I'm in a movie sometimes. I have faked a range of professions from exotic private yacht dancer to a nurse to a news reporter. I have transcended my body in a deep hallucination - completely sober. I have realised I need an element of Europe in my life always. I learnt tofu is highly estrogenic and being a vegan sucks! I learnt to not get too disappointed by the human race and see joy in my immediate environment. I have missed people to the point of paralytic pain. And in general have felt, seen, heard, smelt, touched and sensed things i've never experienced before. (far out dude!).
With all this. Understanding why my body has a low tolerance for certain environments has been the biggest challenge. My hormones have never been this confused. It's like I sacrificed a section of my health for a period of stress in the form of intellectual or cultural growth. In turn I have received an education on my own body. And I don't regret it. Because through it I have learnt what I can do to control this imbalance of hormones and free myself from the idea that I can only tolerate one type of place. And yes it's just an idea. The only answer i've found to make the most difference is an enquiry into mind power. I know there is so much going around on mindfulness and meditation - it's hard to believe that a thought and awareness can change so much. But I can safely say absolutely everything I have visualised, told myself and mediated on in my life has happened. Even the 'bad' things. I don't think that is a coincidence. There is something so empowering about relying purely on the communication with your body to make decisions and choose your life. As opposed to asking every second person what they think about a decision you have ultimately already made - but are too afraid to accept on your own.
It's the reason I would recommend gently scaring yourself into a foreign way of living. It forces you to get under your own skin and understand more of yourself to control more of yourself. And why not? Fear? Half a year ago I could have written hate mail to London when I couldn't find a place to live. But it would have all been based on fear as opposed to the adventure and the lesson. Although fear is necessary for survival it has no valid place in your self exploration. Sure you can observe the fear that crops up but to accommodate it is unproductive. Vulnerability - yes this will be present and it will be your vehicle to experience the 'new'. And when you realise you can choose your thoughts and feelings through meditation. Which then impacts how those chemical messengers communicate with your body - it's a no risk no brainer. HAH!
A simple method I'm liking at the moment is this: a thought creates an emotion, that emotion creates an action and the action produces results. If you can catch your thought and reframe it or feel it, then let it go before it grows into a toxic emotion, you have just become your own master.
I'm sure there is more to write on this topic but i'll leave it for now. Any comments, shared experiences and critiques are welcome.
Somewhere along the way a large majority of the population started to drift away from their bodies. We adhered to a lifestyle with no regard for this beautiful gift, while we lived externally through “things”, vices and second-rate relationships. This lack of self-appreciation has lead to an overwhelming increase in mediocre living and a plethora of health issues. You could name ways you slowly divorced your body on two hands, but I want to focus on one that I find very intriguing. The way we try to be whole through others - even though some of these external relationships will never be as guaranteed as the one with your body.
There is a pressure of only living up to ones opinions and suggestions, as a way of giving your life meaning. Meaning is something all humans crave and can be attained in a variety of ways. A common way people attempt this, is by comparing themselves to others and adopting their way of being in the hope of become like them (note: learning from people you admire is different). This exercise can never be completely achieved, so you ultimately fail before you begin - resulting in even lower self-esteem.
If you want to see light around you, you need to be the light.
So how do we cultivate this connection with our bodies again and lose the stress of needing another’s gratification? Gratify yourself. It’s not easy to do. In fact it can be a long road. There can be moments of rejection, where people are too scared to associate with your natural self-expression, in the fear of being judged. There can be moments where it's too hard to look in the mirror and say, “I love you”, because you don’t feel like you mean it. There can also be times you want more attention - mainly due to this lack of self-love. But there is just one thing you really need to remember. If you are tuning into and acting on the messages your body is giving you - mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually - you will slowly reach the point of living to your body’s full potential. Think about any relationship worth having - it takes work and commitment. But the rewards are oh so sweet when you treat yourself the way you would like/need to be treated.
As a result of rekindling the flame between you and your body - you naturally give your life meaning, you give your body what it needs and you appreciate who you are. The right people will gravitate towards you like a moth to a flame and you'll foster all the love you need.
Firstly, meditation and slow exercise (yoga). There is no better way to get inside your body than focusing on it. I personally love the headspace app to get you started. Of course adopting healthy habits will flow naturally once you are listening to your body.
Everyday. It’s not what you do every now and again that becomes the fabric of your being. It’s the repetitive nature of good habits each day that create you. There is also nothing wrong with the every-now-and-again treats along the way. Especially if it's The Hive Raw Brownie with Coconut Ice Cream. YUM!
WHY DO THIS?
Because life is too short to just exist through other people. Understanding why and how YOU exist on your own is one of the biggest rewards you can experience.
Pick up some good habits while you remarry your body and give it the respect it deserves. As we discussed in the last few posts - internal and topical nourishment is essential for balance and releasing those feel good hormones. I have found the seasonal approach to eating, get’s me closer to the rhythm of nature, which is something very close to my heart. In turn I experience more flow in my life, less stress, less health problems and more happiness.
Don't wait any longer. Fall in love with your being as soon as possible!